You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
