so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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