So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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