Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
