I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
