He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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