Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize