I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
