there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
be right there i have to get my cape
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
