I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
