We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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