? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
