But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
