I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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