when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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