never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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