I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
bring money and cleavage
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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