dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize