he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
