He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
