My hand turned me down
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
