guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
