cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
