Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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