we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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