i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
