Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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