I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
