On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
