..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
