she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
