i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
