This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
