I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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