She said her name was "party"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
