I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
