There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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