Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
