Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
