Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
