brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
