Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
