Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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