I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
