I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize