I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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