I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So much rum. So many feels.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
