They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize