***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
