I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
