Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize