The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
