we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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