Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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