All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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