Im at strip club and am horny
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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