The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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