summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
